Five Drinks Bartenders Hate To Make

I just followed your link and read the article; good lord!! What a load of whiney crap! I couldn't agree with you more: those bartenders who complain of having actually to WORK need to be shot. That having been said, a think a similar manifesto needs be written about the 5 CUSTOMERS bartenders (and waiters) hate to serve...

Bravo!

Excellent post, Darcy.

It's surprising that such basic drinks are the ones bartenders complain about... I was expecting to see complaints about slowly poured 12-layer drinks requiring lots of attention to detail to pull off correctly. (I never ordered one of those, so don't blame me).

But I will say one thing: simple syrup is not a good thing for a mojito. It'll work in a pinch, but it's no substitute for leaves bruised against granulated sugar.

Just finished reading "The 5 drinks" article and Darcy's post. Wow, I got mixed feelings on this one. On the one hand, I agree that laziness, arrogance, greed and ignorance have no place behind the bar. It really IS about the customer's happiness, and if that means making drinks you hate to make, well, you suck it up and make them! I was also expecting to see layered drinks, flaming coffee recipes, and blended drinks.
On the other hand, I think you were a bit harsh on these guys. After all, we all have our pet peeves, and drinks we dread hearing when we're slammed at last call!
Every bar I've worked at has specific limitations as far as available liquor, glassware, workspace and shelves; but you work with what you've got and get creative, right?
What I don't get is the guy who hates drinks he's never heard of. What's he got against learning? If it's not in the book, just ask! One of my favorite things is learning (or creating) a yummy new drink. Of course it's even better if its easy to make, ha ha

Thanks Loraine,

My comments come from the angle that these bartenders "don't" make the customers the requested drink. It's OK to hate making a drink, it's not OK to ignore the customers requests. I guess I take a look at it from a culinary or chemistry point of view. I've never seen the kitchen staff not cook special request dishes. They just do it. When I worked in a lab and I had to clean out the slop buckets, I didn't complain, I just did my job.

Maybe it's that people accept that if a bartender says "no" they just accept that as reasonable and still tip. If a bartenders tell me "no" I order a beer, but I don't tip, they didn't provide me with the service I wanted. However, being in the industry I tip very well to those that try hard and do a good job.

Word. I read that article and couldn't believe some of it. Come on, people, a Cosmo? I'll bet that 90% of the people who order Cosmos don't have any particular preference for the ratio of ingredients, just so long as they're all there. Vodka, triple sec, lime juice, cranberry juice. Shake, strain, done. It's one of the simplest cocktails in the book.

A Mojito when the bar is packed at 2 AM, I can understand that being a pain. But the rest is just laziness.

I like this site, but some things you say are a bit weird.

The mojito should be mixed, shaken or rocked. THEN you add a splash of soda.

All drinks that have a splash of soda or more get mixed before the soda is added.

I think the reason lots of bartenders hate some of these is that they are so overdone and sickeningly trendy that you cringe at the 100th mojito or cosmo ordered.

But that is the job, so whatever they want they should get. I sometimes cringe or say someting under my breath, but I have never heard of a barman saying "no", unless they do not have the ingredients. But then I always make a good suggestion for an alternative.

And I know the kitchen may make a special order but they will yell and bitch and moan and HATE it as well. And they get to blow off steam where the barman doesnt.

cheers!

And I agree with Lorraine.

I thought the drinks would be blender drinks, ice cream and coffee drinks, etc..

When someone is in a 3 deep bar and asks for a grasshopper or frozen pina colada they are throwing a wrench into the machine and making others wait.

Patrons should have some understanding about time and place and how busy the bar is when they order.

But I still never would say no. I may have to let them wait a minute while I attend to the easy drinks that the next 20 people want right now, but I will always make it.

THANK YOU!!!!!!
Reading this came at the perfect time. I just tried to hit a drive thru....went through KFC in Cookeville, TN. FIFTEEN MINUTES, with only 2 cars ahead of me, and when I got to the window my food wasn't even ready. I parked & went in & complained to the manager...told her that it was ridiculous to wait in a drive thru of a fast food restaurant that long....she was rude to me & told me she was sorry I felt that way but her girls were working hard and that's all there was to it.
GRRR!

Thank you from the bottom of my ever-lovin' bar-patronizin' fast-food eatin' heart.

hey darcy when i come into your bar why dont you blow me, that will make me happy. you must be a card carrying retard to like making mojitos. first of all they are not drinks that are designed to be on an industrial scale. keeping ingrediants fresh is paramount to a proper drink and having enough fresh mint daily just isn't cost effective. furthermore you must work with sam malone at cheers and hang out all day just waiting for somone to ask you for a dring. any real bartender at a real bar (one with more than 10 people per night and serves more than draft beer) would know that stop[ing everything to make some idiot a mojito interupts your working flow and costs you money in the end. as for cosmoss, bartenders dont harte the drink they hate the people ordering them. a middle aged woman who is a sex and the city wannabe is not who you want at the bar. please quit bartending and ruining the profession for people who know what they are doing

I'm an ex bartender and completely understand where these bartenders
are coming from. It has nothing to do with laziness. It's actually the opposite. What you are ignoring is the fact that bartenders don't like to make these drinks during rush hour because they are trying to serve the rest of the drunk world. You mentioned you were an ex-bartender, yeah? Where? Bennigan's?
Ever worked at a real bar that had 600 thirsty patron's and 3 bartenders? Ever popped 600 beers and made 400 drinks on an 8-2 shift? I have an idea you think you were a bartender because you served waitresses drink orders at a
restaurant and your little bar clientelle of 10 stools. When you walk into a bar expect a different set of rules than "McDonald's". Th As said earlier, I'm an ex-bartender also, but I have an idea I get alot
better service than you do when I go out.

I'm an ex bartender and completely understand where these bartenders
are coming from. It has nothing to do with laziness. It's actually the opposite. What you are ignoring is the fact that bartenders don't like to make these drinks during rush hour because they are trying to serve the rest of the drunk world. You mentioned you were an ex-bartender, yeah? Where? Bennigan's?
Ever worked at a real bar that had 600 thirsty patron's and 3 bartenders? Ever popped 600 beers and made 400 drinks on an 8-2 shift? I have an idea you think you were a bartender because you served waitresses drink orders at a
restaurant and your little bar clientelle of 10 stools. When you walk into a bar expect a different set of rules than "McDonald's". Th As said earlier, I'm an ex-bartender also, but I have an idea I get alot
better service than you do when I go out.

Oh you poor thing you. Your lazy ass had to wait a couple extra minutes for your fast food in the drive thru so you went in and bitched and were apparently suprised when the people inside who were busy at work told you to piss off. You poor poor fat assed thing.

Yes, sometimes when you have a three deep bar it is a huge pain in the ass to make a damned Mojito. Sometimes that does come up when you work in a fully stocked bar (with bitters included). Also, these instances do generally happen in bars, not restaurants, as you so seemingly work in. So, a word of advice to Mr. Bartender with the tongue up the steak & bitter lovers ass, you don't exactly speak for the majority of actual bartenders (those who work in a bar). It's a different environment completely.

This is great. I have worked as a bartneder for several places like the House of Blues, Flemings Prime Steak House, Ruth's Chris Steakhouse and a few more. I used to bust my a$$ working and hustling to make anything and everything.

Great article, I live in Orlando now and work as a tech consultant and we have so many Primadona Bartenders. They should all be lucky to find and read this.

RP

I agree with the comment about trendy drinks being ordered over and over. It can drain you a little bit. I am currently a chef, but have bartended, and the drinks I always hated making were more along the lines of (as I referred to them) "Power Drinks", primarily kids looking to get drunk quick. Long Island Iced Teas, California Root Beers, etc. It isn't that I hated making them so much as it was everytime someone ordere one, it threw up a red flag as someone to keep an eye on. I know not everyone who drinks these (IMHO) abominations is a problem, but it's a mind set that I always kept an eye on and was right often enough. And to those reading this who love that style of drink, yes I know that the guy sitting alone drinking the newest micro-brew and the oldest scotch may have better taste, but can be just as big a problem. Not trying to offend anyone, just presenting an opinion.

I haven't spent a LOT of time in bars, clubs, restaurants (w/cocktails) - maybe average 2 drinks, 1 visit per month - over 25 YEARS. My experience has been that male or female, about 1 barkeep in 10 is cordial; about 50% are competent. Yes, maybe 1 visit in 20 is to a 'better' establishment, but still - I stiff maybe 1 in 50. And when I do, No 2nd drink :) Most freq reason: $6.50 call shot (Jack/Turkey!) Sure it's a double - I DIDN'T ORDER A DOUBLE.
Good to know the income average is better than I thought - I will save more $ in future.
BTW, when I am 'treated' to a friendly chat explaining (again) how my Manhattan is made (vs my OldFashioned), I typically almost Double the tab.

From the article: "On a busy night, with patrons three-deep, most bar professionals don't want to spend five minutes muddling mint leaves".

Wow, what an unprofessional attitude! Bartenders should make customers happy by forcing them to wait an hour to get a drink. That's the path to respect.

If you are too stupid to order something quick during rush hour, then the bartender has a *duty* to - politely - tell you that now is not the time for a freaking ten minute layer cake. And most bars I know would sack any barman who spent time to wash his little hands every few minutes. Most bars have the minimum staffing possible.

I take it your entire experience with bar work is cocktail lounges with three black-ties listening to the piano. In the real world bartenders have to choose between annoying a single precious snowflake, or a hundred patrons who have to wait for you to be an "artiste". There are no other options. Which one are you choosing? No really, which?

"When you come to my bar please feel free to order anything you want."

Right, well I'll be ordering your self respect, since you seem to think it's for sale.

Bartenders - all service workers - are not subservient slaves to kowtow to anyone with money. The customer is *not* always right. As I've always told my own staff, this is *your* house, and these people are your guests. Sure you want to make them happy, you want to be a good host, but ultimately it is YOUR house, and if they get out of line it is up to you to tell them, and if need be to boot them out.

No-one gets payed enough to take crud from morons. Anyone who complains that the bartender couldn't read his mind re: Cosmo proportions (because there *are* mutiple ways to mix it), is a moron. Anyone who asks for something complex during a busy time is a moron. Money does not magically make you less a moron. If more bars told these people so, instead of coddled their little egos, maybe they'd eventually mend their ways.

@ Meg,

Let's be clear. When I go into a bar, you are serving me, not the other way around. I'll order whatever I want, and if you have the ingredients, I expect you to make it. No whining, no bitching...as Nike says, JUST DO IT.

You may be busy, you may have to pop 600 beers (boo hoo), and if I have to wait a little longer for my "complex" drink, that is fine. But if I ever, ever heard a bartender tell me he was "too busy" to make a drink, that'd be it. I'd tell the manager, and every person I know.

In the end, I'd still get my drink, and you would get nada for a tip. Better to take it on the chin with a smile, and get that nice tip for doing your service.

@ Smellyterror

Which bar do you work at, so I can make sure to never go there (as well as my friends, family, anyone who reads emails/blogs).

Yeah, thats what I thought.

SmellyTerror it won't be "your" house for long if you keep up that attitude. We pay your bills, you might want to keep that in mind.

In the couple of years I spent behind the ten-seat bar of an Italian restaurant, I took pride in making a perfect Spanish coffee.

But making cosmopolitans was awful, not because of the little time involved, but because you knew some poor woman thought her pink beverage made her sophisticated.

J Coop: I don't work bars any more, but do you really think your scary threats would worry anyone?

...and do you honestly expect that the rest of the customer base will be happy to stand there waiting while you demand your complex nancy drink? Frankly the bartender that kicked you out would be doing you a favour, becuase you were probably about to be punched in the face.

Thanks for backing up my point about morons with impossible demands, by the way, when your previous post answered Roy but addressed Meg.

i: It's amazing how much customer loyalty you can generate when they see staff kicking an idiot out. Customers like to feel they've earned the respect they get, and not bought it. Customers like to see that you're willing to kick out turds - it means you're saying they're good people, who deserve to be in company of other good people.

In my experience, wankers are a minority that everyone hates.

SmellyTerror is right.

"J Coop: I don't work bars any more, but do you really think your scary threats would worry anyone?"

Not a threat, a fact. I've worked in bars also (managed bartenders), and people go to places where they get the service they want. You don't make the drinks the customers want, they leave. Simple. As. That.

"...and do you honestly expect that the rest of the customer base will be happy to stand there waiting while you demand your complex nancy drink?"

If you are referring the drinks above as "complex" then its no wonder you are no longer a bartender. And yes, most people would wait because a) if its as busy as you say, then people *expect* to wait a little and don't really notice, and b) people want to see other customers getting what they want. Its a sign of *gasp* good service. If you can't handle some of those drinks during rush hour, then you fail at bartending.

"Thanks for backing up my point about morons with impossible demands"

I love it. An inconvenience is now "impossible".

"Customers like to feel they've earned the respect they get, and not bought it."

See, you have it all backwards, and that is probably why you failed at bartending. YOU earn MY respect, not the other way around.

Let me give you a little lesson in customer service.

Here is the situation:

It's a busy Friday night at whatever dumpy bar you work at. Someone comes up and asks for a Mojito, but it is obviously very busy. Do you
a) explain that its busy and might take a few minutes for that drink, but you will get on it when you have a chance

OR

b) whatever smellyterror would recommend (probably telling the patron that they are in YOUR house, and you are doing them a favor by even speaking to them, and they will be lucky to get whatever you decide to give them, if you don't kick them out first)

You would probably say "B", which is why I used to boss idiots like you around since you have no customer service skills.

People like smellyterror are easily replaceable, and its better for business to get rid of them.

I recently went to a bar/lounge that only gave access to set amount of people in order to handle their requests properly and due to the limited space. The bar tender made the ingredients from scratch and even used an eyedropper to get the drink just right which was well worth the wait. The job can be a profession or just a way to make money. I sense that those that enjoy their job are better at it and are happier with their lives. Next time you give poor service remember the Karma eventually comes back on you making you hate yourself as others certainly do for making them feel like you are doing them a favor by taking their hard earned money.

First off there seems to be a lack of realization that a service person is your "server", not your damn "servant". As a former bartender of 12yrs, and now the GM of a very consistently busy bar, i have worked in all types of places, and been in all types of situations. From the bartender side on things, a customer needs to accept that he may not get exactly what he ordered, a mojito at 11pm on a friday is absurd..on a Friday at 2pm...no problem (i'll even use the eyedropper)...this isn't McDonald's, the customers is NOT always right and smiles are NOT F***in' free!!!

customers need to be able to strike a balance between themselves and the other customers waiting for service...

Just my opinion (based on experience)

Ciao

"Customers like to feel they've earned the respect they get, and not bought it."

"See, you have it all backwards, and that is probably why you failed at bartending. YOU earn MY respect, not the other way around".

Exactly. What moron would even think that the customer has to earn the respect of the bartender. What a farktard. You are temporarily working for me biatch. Make my drink.

Oh, and by the way. You whiny bartenders are getting trashed in the fark.com forums.

"customers need to be able to strike a balance between themselves and the other customers waiting for service..."

Wrong. That is YOUR job. How the eff did you make manager?!?

Oh god. The bartenders leaving their whiny comments here are killing me. For some reason bartending attracts the entitled, whiny, "cool kids" that get all bent out of shape when they're expected to give a shit about someone else, i.e. a customer. It's a shame that you think you're awesome because you can open a bottle of beer. What douchebags.

Good for you!! I felt the same way when I used to bartend and know that I can't stand when workers just don't want to be bothered in ANY service industry. Especially in an industry that can rely so heavily on tipping...you are only cutting your own throat! Plus...why can't we all just make each other happy in even a slight way...why is that so difficult anymore?! I love it...well done!! YES, I must agree...NO MORE WHINING! :))

Excellent article. Sadly, in the "service" industry today there is just too many examples of this attitude. I learned a valuable lesson of management from my friend's service business. He said that he treats his customers and employees fairly, but he doesn't believe in self-esteem oriented management, he believes in FEAR. Fear that if he hears any of the like stupid comments, they get canned. Fear that they're kept accountable every day for every action. Fear keeps them in line. Most people do not do anything constructive without some fear of accountability.

Your Whining is worse than the whining in the original article. This article was a waste of my time.

Geez. I'm not a bartender, never have been, but now I'm afraid to frigging order anything anymore. What's good and easy for the rushed barkeep to be able to handle? A beer? Maybe still in the bottle, so all he or she has to do is open it? Hell, hand me the opener, I'll get it.

Don't count on a damn tip, though. I'm looking at you smelly terror. Act like I'm bothering you, and you won't be bothered with a tip or my business anymore.

My ex, a career bartender, warned me never to order a Bloody Mary near last call. Additionally, I am a molecular biologist and he does make more than I do (although I do get better benefits).

Since I have been in the business for some time and it feels like something I could end up doing for a good long time, I can say the only one that deserves a spot on the list is the Mojito. I don't mind seeing one every now and again, but four breathing down your neck on the same order is just plain scary. And the people who order that many will inevitably be the ones complaining as to why the order takes so long.

Lemon drops leave everything sticky? That's why there's a sink nearby. Or maybe you shouldn't be so sloppy with the sugar rim.

Manhattans being made weird ways? Ask the person how they want it and then make it that way. It's just like with Martinis, how you ask them if they want gin or vodka, how dry, up or rocks, olive or twist.

And yes, the Cosmo is the White Zinfandel of the cocktail world. If you get a well-made one, it really is a fantastic drink. It's just very difficult to find a well-made one.

I don't take bartenders' preferences into account when ordering drinks. And I don't return to places with bad service. When I have exceptionally bad experiences (something like having my order refused because it would take up too much of the barkeep's time) I will badmouth the place to all my friends and anyone who asks.

just because a bartender hates to make it doesn't mean he won't. ask any chef in any restaurant and he will tell you there are dishes they hate to make. every job has it's down sides. this article sounds like it is written by a pompous customer who gets upset that his drinks aren't made exactly like he makes them at home. You also most likely broke the law bringing in bitters which has alcohol in it, then giving it away which is also illegal in most states. Also you probably piss off a lot of customers and bartenders when they come in during shifts u don't work and they can't get a proper manhattan which is why if your bar is too lame to stock it with certain kinds of alcohol you should let customers know that drink is not on the menu.
no one is whining. everyone of you think of your job and pick five things you don't like about it. apparently if you can think of five things you are a whiner.

are you nuts about the manhattan?--too many ingredients

bourbon, sweet vermouth, and maybe bitters---

that's too many???

come on--i get them all the time, and it is amazing how many are fantastic---because the bartender cares to listen when i say extra sweet, no bitters.

I find no problem with the five drinks mentioned. If you are a good bartender, the differential in time on those five drinks is about 6 seconds. I stock 5 kinds of bitters and make Campari 6 different ways (Negroni, NY style, Naples style, Piedmont style & Sicilian, with OJ and on the rocks.) Of course, I am probably the only bartender in the Midwest that goes through 2 bottles of Campari a month. It takes about the same amount of time ti sugar a rim as dropping 3 coffee beans in a Sambuca.

I hate blender drinks; because I share a blender with the kitchen staff (about 40 steps one-way) and they go through about 3 blenders a year, I just don't do them.

My advice to wait staff: You cannot order a drink "up" and on the rocks; it is either one or the other.

My advice to customers: Do not get enraged about a "rocks" charge on your drink. We are not charging you for ice, it is the extra liquor pour; We are just trying to be gracious.

My advice to bartenders: Work on your body-memory hand skills. Be able to make the top 50 drinks without thinking about it. Your hands will make the drinks faster than your mind can do the re-call. If you do not have product knowledge and body-memory hand-skills, you are just another waiter behind the bar.

Peace through good cocktails and perception,

I have never bartended, but I have worked for ten years in the food service industry. I can sympathize with the bar tenders because, about half of the general public is rude, difficult and generally a unpleasant. Many do think that they are entitled to behave any way they please and you should be thankful that they are here to monopolize your time, energy and hurt the service of other customers. However, we do need to remember that at the end of the day we need them far more than they need us. The best thing that can be done is to be firm when necessary and do the best you can. And of course, go to school and get the skills to get a better job, so that you can afford to leave the hell that is the service industry. And of course when you are out, remember not to be the douche bag you hate

The guy who refused to serve a complex drink had two options: either give slow service to the vast majority of patrons (while they stand and watch you bruise lime), or refuse to pander to one precious snowflake. You can't do both.

WHCIH ARE YOU CHOOSING?

Yes it is an impossible task to satisfy all the customers in that situation. You cannot possibly have it both ways. It's not possible. Do you understand? IT CANNOT BE DONE.

You guys do understand that other people exist, don't you? They are not extras in the movie of your life. The world contains more than just you and scenery.

So when a bartender is showing respect to the person wanting something stupid, he is showing disrespect to EVERYONE ELSE. By simply explaining that he can't make a Mojito - incidentally, the ONLY drink anyone in the article said they'd refuse to make - he is giving BETTER SERVICE to the majority of customers.

So for all you idiots who seem to think your custom is somehow worth more than all the other people's put together, you are, quite frankly, delusional and self-obsessed. If you genuinely believe that keeping a hundred people waiting while you make a mojito is the path to financial success, then I'm not sure there's any arguing with you. You won't tip? BOO-HOO. I can serve half a dozen people in the time it takes to serve you. What in hell makes you think your money is so special?

Coop:
"...and people go to places where they get the service they want. "

Exactly. Which is why people don't go to bars that take an hour to serve them.

"explain that its busy and might take a few minutes for that drink, but you will get on it when you have a chance"

Oh really? So, what, the bar magically stops being busy after a few minutes?

What the hell?

We are not talking about your little restaraunt cocktail bar, here. No-one is refusing service out of laziness. REAL bars have tenders working flat out for hour after hour after hour. No problem, that's the job. But it's not suddenly getting quieter in a few minutes.

So yeah, good "customer service" advice there. Get the customer to wait for a drink you're never going to have time to do. You think making a customer wait, *after he's already waited in line and given his order*, is actually going to be GOOD customer service?

No, it is absolutely a better option to tell him, sorry, we can't make those when we're so busy. Can I suggest an X?

"Try not to order one of the drinks bartenders hate to make when the bar is busy. Either go somewhere else, or be satisfied with something simpler.

-- Bianca Antonacci"

Screw her. When i'm behind the bar at any given time I may or may not want to make that drink but you'll never know because i'll smile and make it as quickly as I can to the best of my ability. We work in the service industry and some of my peers need to remember that.

Thanks John for your comments! I switched my favorite bar recently because they would stop mixing drinks and start to only serve beer and shots when a rush came. Not comparable when me and the girls want to look all sex and the city. Sucking down a Miller Lt just doesn't create the mystique we typically are after.

I can understand once and a while, the rush takes over...but every weekend? There's something wrong there.

For every bartender complaining about customers who expect more than a beer during peak hours, do us all a favor: post the name/city of the place where you bartend so that annoying customers like me who want a decent drink can save us both the heartache and stay away.

To everyone who agrees with the whiny bartenders in the original post Darcy linked to -- take each use of the word "bartender" in the linked article and the reactions to it and substitute the word "chef."

Now, imagine being in a restuarant, ordering a dish from your waiter, and then having him or her come back and tell you that this is the middle of dinner rush, and the chef says the dish you ordered is too complicated -- order something simpler.

Your argument doesn't quite hold water anymore, does it?

We should expect no less from our bartenders than we do from our chefs, especially when a drink these days often costs a third as much, if not half as much, as a restaurant entrée.

Conversely, I think that a bartender should deliver no less than a chef or line cook in the kitchen. If it takes a little longer to get a great-tasting, well-made drink instead of something that's been quickly splashed into a glass, then so be it. (There are, of course, different kinds of bars just as there are different kinds of restaurants, from short order to fine dining, and you should probably order accordingly, but still.)

I take it you'd rather wait a few minutes longer for the chef or line cook to prepare your dish properly, by hand, than to have him or her throw a Hot Pocket into the microwave and charge you the same price.

well here is what i have to say...i know that customers want there stuff fast and now so sometimes some drinks take a few to make and cus get pissy when they arent there fast enough plus some bartenders hate to make them cuz they are busy and trying to make everyones drink and when u have over 20 ppl to serve ya some stupid drinks are hated to make so we arent lazy we are mostly busy and ya plus alot of times cus want it a certain way and that is hard