Perspective of a Cocktail Widow

Darcy O'Neil :: July 19, 2007 11:25 AM

by Caroline O'Neil

Many of you may wonder what it is like to live with a real bartender. It certainly has its advantages. Personally I could not make a decent cocktail to save my life. Sure I can make the foolproof drink that only has two ingredients, such as a screwdriver. Anything more complicated than this and it is a complete train wreck. Over the years, I have learned a lot from Darcy but I certainly prefer him behind the bar. I think back to our waffle making competitions we held every week early in our relationship. We came up with the perfect waffle recipe that we still enjoy every weekend. Now Darcy is pretty crafty because he let me win the waffle competition. Guess what? Seven years later and I’m still making the waffles. Therefore, I have no intention of entering the cocktail competition with him. I’ve learned my lesson; I will sit back and simply enjoy his wonderful creations.

Guinea pigThe best part of living with Darcy is that he makes the best cocktails I’ve ever had. I vaguely remember the drinks I had while in university. Yes, I hold my head in shame when I think of the crap I use to drink. I was more interested in the end result and didn’t care that I would need a chisel the next morning to remove all of the sugar from my teeth. I would like to think that I have become older and wiser that now I can appreciate a good drink. Darcy has enlightened me on what constitutes a good cocktail. He uses nothing but the best ingredients and strives for quality. The only downside to this is that I have morphed into a guinea pig until he masters the perfect cocktail. However, I truly enjoy all of the time and effort he puts into making a great cocktail.

101dThe worse part of living with Darcy is that his liquor inventory would rival most bars out there. Have you ever seen the movie 101 Dalmations? I want you to get a clear picture of just how many dogs there were and how they seemed to be coming out of everywhere. Well, I just finished taking an inventory of Darcy’s liquor stash and there are 101 bottles. This does not include the 50 bottles of beer, 10 bottles of wine or the bottle of champagne. As you can imagine, there is a plethora of liquor bottles. When we first moved into the house, he had a liquor cabinet in the kitchen. Over time I would start finding bottles stowed away in all kinds of places. Let’s just say that Darcy and his liquor have now been banned from the kitchen and they have taken up residence in the dungeon. I have eyes like a hawk and will notice the new additions to his vast collection. I’m sure he can’t wait for the day that my memory lapses. I swear he can smell a liquor store a mile away because he insists on stopping just to have a look. Of course it is next to impossible to leave without him wanting to buy something. I can guarantee that he will return from New Orleans with at least one liquid souvenir.

Darcy gadgetThe most interesting part of living with Darcy is that he has more bar tools that you can imagine. I don’t even know what half of them are used for. >He always reminds me of Inspector Gadget when he pulls some tool out of his bar kit. He claims that he needs to be prepared to make any cocktail behind the bar. However, I do think that some of his gadgets are invading the kitchen. I won’t complain too much because I want to make sure that the great cocktails keep on coming.

Darcy arrived at Tales of the Cocktail in one piece. He has already met quite a few people and is having a good time. He is working on an update himself but is having a couple problems with the wireless connection. Hopefully, I will be able to post something from him shortly.

Fix the Pumps
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