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Dueling Bartenders
It seems a post from the past (April 2004) has jumped to the forefront again and has brought with it more interesting comments, courtesy of Fark. The post was about an article published in the San Francisco Chronicle, about drinks bartenders hate to make. I basically responded to the article (Five Drinks Bartenders Hate to Make) in a way that seems to irritate some bartenders, and occasionally it generates some surly replies, similar to the “Fan Mail” diatribe posted a while ago. Today there are an additional 20, or so, responses. This time there are some good community counter arguments, which I like. But most of them are still at the troglodyte level.
It’s funny how five simple drinks can irritate some bartenders so much. I also like the way that all these “super professional bartenders” like to fling insults at me for saying you can make these drinks behind a bar. Does Jamie Boudreau, Ryan Magarian or Dale DeGroff get insulted like this? I know Gary Regan does, so maybe I’m in good company.
I don’t necessarily blame these bartenders for believing what they do, I tend to focus my scorn on management. It seems many managers are cheap, so they under staff the bar and over work the bartenders to the point where they can only open beer and make basic drinks. The short sightedness of this should be completely obvious, but I’ll spell it out anyway.
The pay rate of one bartender ranges anywhere from $2 to $7 per hour. So in an eight hour shift the manager of a bar would have to pay them $36 (assuming the mid point salary of $4.50). In the course of the night, if some of the commenting “super bartenders” sold 1000 drinks (which is theoretically only 2 drinks per minute) as they claim at just $3.50 per drink, that’s $3500. Therefore the labour cost is 1% of the bars expenses. That is down right cheap. Unless you have a business in a third world country there is absolutely no way you can get your costs that low. Obviously this is a very loose approximation, so no accounting comments, please.
Basically my point is that the cheap ass managers should add a few more bartenders to the payroll. I know this will never happen because bartenders know that with fewer of them behind the bar, the more money they earn through tips. Why split the tips four ways when you just split it in half. That mentality is what makes alcohol a drug and not something for social enjoyment.
In one of the new comments the “bartender” mentioned that 600 people were served by 3 bartenders, which is why he’s a “super-star”. That’s a really bad ratio if the bartenders are trying to control over consumption. And please don’t underestimate the serious of alcohol over consumption, lots of people die everyday from drinking related causes. Can I make that any clearer?
The other thing is that bartenders get paid great money. We can make a lot more than professionals like Engineers, Molecular Biologists and the like. So I don’t understand why all these bartenders complain. Actually, maybe I do understand. Many bartenders have only ever bartended, so they don’t realize how good they have it.
A Couple of Random Points
1. The idea of the surly bartender stems back to the days of prohibition (don’t forget Repel Day is coming up). Back then bartenders were more or less drug dealers and if anyone threatened their “career” they’d get 86’d. Today it is a little different, so maybe we should dispatch with the angry bartender mentality.
2. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, bartenders think that speed behind the bar is the only thing that matter, but they are dead wrong. Working efficiently is good, but just because you can work at a MacDonald’s level doesn’t mean your drinks are good.
This one topic has vaulted the Art of Drink to the number one spot on the Blog Top Sites Food & Drink category. Controversy bring people out, and hopefully a few will stick around and continue to read the Art of Drink and the couple dozen other great cocktail and spirited related blogs out there.
128 Comments on Dueling Bartenders
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Controversy? Ha! The only issue i see here is people who aren't willing to admit their professional shortcomings. There aren't any drinks that i don't like to make. Any chance i get to use my jar of powdered egg whites, my blood orange bitters, my chartreuse VEP, or any of the rest of my personal collection that my bar won't buy itself, I'm thrilled. If i have to look up a a recipe, then that's one more recipe i know next time. That's the fun part of bartending.
My only difficulties come when i have to make one of those "complex" drinks and the customer says something like "I can't taste the alcohol." and then they don't tip. I just masked the flavor of two ounces of ethanol without lowering the drink's proof below 30, and you're upset? You should tip double if you can't taste the alcohol.
As for management issues, many customers just want the cheapest way to get smashed. Pee in a bottle of rum and then sell it for 50 cents a shot, and I'd bet rum with human urine for 50 cents would outsell genuinely delicious rum for $3.50-$6.00. I stock what i do because i enjoy GOOD drinks, but it isn't hard to understand why managers are reluctant to stock Orange Blossom Water, for example, when maybe 2% of the customers even know what that is, or why it's a good thing.
It's a challenge to conceive of more horrors perpetrated in a single article -- my disbelief peaked at "go to a restaurant if you want a real Mojito."
I've sat at bars since I was five (literally), and have always felt that it ought to be something of a poetic affair. While I have understood how watered down the experience has become; elegance sacrificed at the altar of commerce, I am shocked to read that attitude given the tacit approval of the masses. People don't realize how easily they allow themselves to lose the simple, quiet, joys. Inability to appreciate beauty is a sadly progressive disease.
Going to a bar and ordering a cocktail is one of those joys -- restaurants are another, but a different one. If the common perception is descending, how long until The French Laundry is microwaving hamburgers?
I totally agree with what Michael and A Poor Engineer said. Darcy too, BTW :P
I think its the job of the bartender to teach his manager that kind of thing. Asking him to buy more bottles or anything without reason is kinda useless... Prove to him that it make a difference!
Like Darcy did, try to get some number on your side to be sure to have good argments.
The quality in the bar is something we have to bring back, not just wait for somebody to do it... Talk with your friends, employer, other bartender. Its hard to change the worlds mind, but im pretty sure we can do something about it with all the new bartender/cocktailian that emerge every day.
Sorry for the double comment, but it might be a funny idea to look at all the comment that came out on the fark page with the link...
We can clearly see the difference between mixologist and "other" when it come to ask "What is a bar for you?"
Purist shouldn't read the comment page ;)
I would venture that another problem is that many of the "bad" habits that some bartender's exhibit is a reflection of their customers at large. I've noticed, at least here in San Francisco, that as cocktails continue to gain popularity, and more and more places open or start emphasizing cocktails, people are going out to these places not for really good drinks, but because they think of it as a new scene.
When I'm out having a cocktail I frequently see people come in, look over the drink menu, then proceed to order a vodka tonic, or vodka red bull, or vodka martini (no vermouth) asking for whatever vodka is the cheapest. These folks, it seems to me, are also somewhat not inclined to be comfortable with the idea of drinks taking longer than 2 seconds to make making bartenders feel as though they need to value speed over quality for the sake of tips and/or trying to keep customers around longer.
Boy - I feel like I could keep going and going, but I think this has become longwinded enough. Thanks for the cocktail thought fodder!
GREAT discussion here,many talking points but for me QUALITY is the heart of the matter. My hate to make (and I should get over it)is a marty withh 3 olives a twist and an onion or some combination thereof-if you want a salad order one and ask for a vodka or gin dressing!
I think it is important to remember as we refer to our trade as an "art". With all art comes criticism, so take the good with the bad, be a professional above all and always make a good drink. Whether they recognize the finess you applied to their well vodka tonic or not. Now lets stop some of this whining and pump out some quality cocktails....we are all falling behind.
There is one point, which was not yet mentioned: the responsibility of growth of a bartender!
I heard a lot of complaints about bar manager. I am one - deep in my heart I am still a bartender, but in Germany in those times, you had not the comfort to stay bartender (because you don't have a reasonable salary).
But it seems that bartenders on the American continent wants to avoid extra responsibility, may be unfavorable work and the loss of tips.
Why don't you want to become bar managers (there is still time behind the bar - believe me) and change it to the good? You as bartenders have the knowledge, the understanding and the ability to improve service, even the drink culture...
I just also have to mention, that I also want to taste the spirit (not alcohol as ethanol of course) in a drink!
But then I need to order a drink, which is featuring and pronouncing a spirit (like Manhattan, Martini, Old Fashioneds, Margarita) - the bartenders (and managers) can just promote this drinks and not Sex on the Beaches or LIITs...